I Can't Make This Stuff Up

The phone is ringing. I am trying to wake up. The clock says 5:30 a.m. I don't recognize the number. It may say 800 something or other. Is it PK calling?

Me: Hello?

Caller: This is Michael (with just that much out of his mouth I know it isn't my husband calling and I am getting ready to seriously go off at the telemarketer who would dare call my house at 5:30 IN THE MORNING and ON A SATURDAY!!) with xxxx (I probably shouldn't advertise the name of my home security system on the internet) home security. You have a zone alarm on the garage door. Do you need the police?

Me: On the garage door (simultaneously jumping out of bed heading downstairs...thinking the alarm isn't going off)?

Caller: Yes. A zone alarm on the garage door. (pause) Joe Smith (I can't remember what name he said, but it wasn't one I recognized)?

Me: (After hearing an unfamiliar name and taking the stairs in a single bound to check my alarm panel start to have clarity of mind). Who?

Caller: Joe Smith?

Me: No.

Caller: (Rattles off my phone number)

Me: Yes. That is my number. Wait...I don't have xxxx (name of alarm company). I have a different alarm company (the guy must think I'm nuts...I don't even know which alarm company I have...trying not to laugh out loud...reviewing the conversation in my head later, glad I didn't give the name of my company.)

Caller: (Rattles off an address)

Me: No. That is not my address (again glad I didn't rattle off my correct address in the still half asleep confusion). I just checked my control panel and I don't have a zone disturbance.

Caller: I am sorry. They must not have changed their number. I'll remove it from the information.

Me: Thanks. Bye.

So this is how the first morning of PK being gone started.