The Road to the Middle of Nowhere

Some of my blog posts may interest other people and some posts may leave people wondering why I felt I needed to share.  I write my blog to record our family memories.  If someone happens to enjoying it along the way, that is great!!  I had an experience yesterday and when I mentioned that I was going to write a blog post Rachel said, "This is really one of those You-Had-to-be-There-Moments."  I told her that was fine.  When I look back a few years from now and read this post, I will remember how funny it was for me and the kids.

Our friends Becky, Matt and their two girls are visiting for Spring Break.  One of the things on Becky's list of "Things to Do" was to visit the Wild Animal Safari in Pine Mountain.  The kids and I love going there so we tagged along.

We had planned to be on the road around 8:45 a.m. in order to make it to the park around opening time.  Becky sent me a text about 6:45 a.m. (Yes, she texted me when we were both in the same house.  It was really a great idea.  As we have people scattered in different sleeping arrangements throughout the house, I didn't want to get up and wander around the house and needlessly wake someone up.  She sent me a text when she got up to see if I was awake and we had some quiet coffee time before anyone else was up...I digress.)  About 7:30 we discussed waking everyone up to get ready to go, but we were enjoying our quiet so much, we decided to wait. 

By the time everyone was up, had eaten breakfast and got ready to go, it was 10:30.  That meant we would get there about lunch time.  Our big decision...did we want to pack sandwiches or just grab something when we got close?  Feeling lazy, we decided we would just grab something when we got close. 

We were in two separate vehicles.  Rachel texted Becky (Relax...Matt was driving...no texting and driving here) and we decided we would stop just before getting off the interstate.  Who would have known it was going to be a scenic highway with nothing in sight?  We both checked out the GPS and found a Subway about 5 miles away.  It was past the animal park, so really only about 2-3 miles out of our way.  Here are the text messages that followed.

Rachel: Cool. We found one and it's our new destination.

Becky:  Shake Rag Rd?  We will follow you.

(Oh, yes.  It was really on Shake Rag Rd.)

After driving, and driving and driving...

Becky: Is this Subway in AL?

Rachel:  Ha, ha.

We finally turn onto Shake Rag Road.  As we were turning, I was quite certain there would not be a Subway this far in the middle of nowhere.  When the GPS said we were arriving at our destination on the left, all I saw was a cow pasture.

Becky:  Is the Subway in some Hillbilly's garage?

Then we passed this large pink stucco shack.

The next thing that looked remotely interesting and/or close by (according to the GPS) was the Purple Cow Cafe.  This took us on some more middle of nowhere roads.  When we passed the sign that read, "Prison Detail" I locked the doors.  We didn't see any prisoners.  Matt told Becky they must have escaped.  By this time we were already slap happy. 

Rachel:  The whatever colored cow thing better be open and have a bathroom because my mom needs to go potty.

We came to a four way stop with signs directing us to the highways.  I made the decision to follow the GPS toward the Purple Cow. 

Rachel:  That stop sign was probably our only road to civilization.

Becky calls and says, "Why didn't you turn toward the highway."
The road that the GPS told me to turn on did not exist where it said to turn.  At this point we were back to the highway.  I pulled over and called Becky.  She said, "Well, why don't we just take the highway until we find something."  I asked her if she wanted to try north or south.  She suggested south.  Worse case scenario, we will hit Columbus.

Rachel: How could driving this far out of the middle of nowhere still leave us in the middle of nowhere.

Becky:  Matt's doing an I told you so.  He voted to go north.

Rachel: Mom says she didn't vote.  She just followed your advice.

Becky:  Yeah, I know.  But seriously, this has got to be the only stretch of interstate in America without some sort of fast food every 5 miles.

Rachel:  Hannah says, "If we would've gone to the animal safari we would have been done by now and could be getting something on our way home.

We passed a couple exits that had only gas stations.  We finally saw a blue sign that had three hotels listed on it.  I thought for sure with three hotels, there would be at least one restaurant.  We had been thinking fast food, but after searching for an hour backwoods of Georgia, Cracker Barrel or something similar would have been fine. 

The next sign had a title for gas stations and listed two or three.  Underneath the gas stations was a title for food and then it was blank.  Again, tears from too much laughing.
We were on the outskirts of the Columbus before we found a Burger King.  I'm thinking taking the two minutes before we left to grab the cooler and throw in some turkey and chips would have lost us a lot of laughs!!